Freaky Pet Palace

The Freaky Pet Palace

Once there was a girl named Alice.
She wanted a pet,
so she went to the palace --

the Freaky Pet Palace.

"Come in," said the keeper.
"My name is the Creeper ...

and I will show you
 all the pets that we keep here.

"We have a splatuchla in this cage.
This pet's tricks take center stage.

"At times you see, it's quite invisible.

"And if you splat it  ...
infinitely divisible.

"In this cage we have a Deboner.
It's a very sweet pet. As sweet as they get,
despite a bad habit of chewing its owner.

"If you are not too fastidious.
This is an epididimis.
He leaves pieces here and there.
Little pieces everywhere.
He really is quite hideous.

"Oh well. Here is our Wachamasaurus
She's very shy and lives in the forest.
She won't come if you call her
but her name is Delores.

"Here in the goo is a pet named Stew.
He used to be little ...

But then he grew.

"In this cage is a pet that's all the rage.
Nice to look at and so very lumpy.

"Just don't try to pet him.
He's a little grumpy.

"This one's a pet-o-matic.
If it doesn't work out
it'll keep in the attic.

"Here's a fuzzy wuzzy surprise.
She grows to twenty times this size.
And when she's grown she loves to roar.
She may have to stay outdoors.

"This pet's charms are not debatable.
For you see, it is inflatable!

"Here we have a pet with wings.

"He just loves to scream and scream.
We have no idea what he means.

"This pet is not much to look at.
Well . . .
he's better known for his smell.
You may view him with distaste,
but a pet like this can't be misplaced.
Not to take him home
would simply be
a waste.

"This interesting pet is an electric snail.
It has a bright light at the end of it's tail.

To lure small creatures,
which then it impales.

"This pet's fur is one big mat.
We're not sure what's underneath
but it might be a rat.

"And here is a pet that we call the Snipe.
He's not in a cage. He lives in the pipes.

When he sleeps he snores and snores
and splashes water on the floors.

"Now you've been through the whole inventory ...
seen our pets and heard their stories.
I can't believe you haven't yet
picked your pet!

But wait, there is one more to see.
The worst of all you will agree.
A pet so completely icky
it even looks a little sickly.

So soft and round, so small and sweet.
With great big eyes and tiny feet.
That's why we keep it hidden away
from the better customers during the day.

"Oh no! I see you can't resist
this horrid creature
but I must insist

that you don't blame me if it wants to snuggle.
Or even worse, if it wants to cuddle.

For your poor taste
you now are banished.

And with that last word
the pet shop vanished.

The End